Non-Jews are for practice
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
