My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
You're like the curious george of whores
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
