I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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