She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
