He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Last time i carry you out of a forest
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
