youre lurking in front of me
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Let's get the cat blown out
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
