Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I just got carded by a ten year old.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
