90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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