And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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