dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
