I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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