Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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