that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Watching her eat just hurts me
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
