Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
