I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
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my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
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Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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