So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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