Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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