My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
