You're so nebulous sometimes
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
