Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
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Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
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I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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