But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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