You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
