The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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