he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
