Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
