I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Blood and glitter go together right?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
