a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
God I need to hump something, right now.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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