I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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