I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
