I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Randomize
