i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
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