she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
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Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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