dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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