yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Randomize
