My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
