i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
