Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
