i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
