if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
