He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I'm bleeding and have questions
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
