I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
