I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
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Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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