So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Liz is crying about burritos again.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.