fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
