This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
No subtext here. People are naked.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
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