Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
