Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
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When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
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We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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