did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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