New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
