I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
