we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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