fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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