Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
