apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Randomize
