I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
