is your mom at the bar?
Too much gin, very little bucket
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
