I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
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using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
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He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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