All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
