Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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